Jan: Together we got a loan, and at some point, I got an extension to increase that amount. At first, I just applied for a small amount, just thinking this would be a good backup or emergency fund situation. And when I was approved, I was approved for the entire loan amount, which was more than I honestly wanted.
And then I stayed for a few days and I thought that this would help me redirect my work. I was hoping that would get me back on track. I was thinking, “Okay, great. I could use this to start some kind of small business or use it to bring in some income for the lifestyle that Emily and I both want.” I took it and didn’t tell Emily about it, and then it snowballed and I was embarrassed.
Emily: I found out that we already had a contract and our lender was asking for some information about this small business loan. And, when we took it out, it was at the beginning of COVID. Jan had lost his job, knowing that we would be working for the rest of the year. We were aware that we were planned. And so when he lost his job, it was all on me. And I had just started a new job, all commission-based. So we knew then, okay, right now I have enough money to pay off that loan if we need it. So I knew that if we take it, I have the power to bring it back, but it will give us a little cushion while we think or think that COVID will be done quickly.
So when our lender called and said, “Hey, I need these documents,” it was like, the days are gone and Jan keeps most of us— she’s very organized. You have everything on file. Everything is there. So I was like, “Dad, just send him stuff.” All good. Just send him things.”
And after a few days of that, I noticed that his attitude was getting really weird. He kept saying, “They keep asking us for things.” They keep asking us for things.” And I said, “He’s not doing anything wrong. Open the book, send them all.” And finally, he just said, “I need to tell you something. I was wrong.” And we were a week and a half or two weeks into the home buying process already.
I was walking home and he said the number and I was like- I’m sorry. Immediately I said, “Am I going to be one of those wives whose husband gambles away all their money?” Everything I thought I had saved up for the past year, working and working and working at something, I didn’t have enough money to pay back that debt.
Ramit: I really enjoy this discussion. Yes, Jan makes a mistake, really dumb, but he has authority over it. And Emily has acknowledged what happened and accepted it. He said he doesn’t mind doing it again. I know most of you want me to sit here and beat Jan up, but that’s not what this podcast is about.
Everyone makes mistakes with their money, and you’ll find me incredibly sympathetic when someone doesn’t know how to start investing. I mean, 90% of the time people in this program don’t even read my book. I can’t blame them. I am here to help them.
Now, I get angry when people don’t take responsibility for their actions. But Jan did. He has accepted it. He is correcting. And I applaud him for that. And I applaud his partner, Emily, for accepting that and being so blunt. Now, I want to go deeper. Again, I don’t intend to hit him, but I want to make sure that he understands the reason for his dowry because if he does that, he can find the root of his lie about money.